Changes

I have changed one thing on my list of 101 things to do in 1001 one days list.

I have been having a hard time remembering how many postcards I have sent out so I have taken it off my list. I have instead added going to Las Vegas. Perhaps it is kind of a cheat since I leave for Vegas on Saturday next week but since I always have wanted to go...I have decided to add it to my list...besides it's my list...my life and frankly I can do whatever I want.

Since I left my ex I have concentrated one me and what I want to do. He never wanted to do anything and it was a fight to get him to do anything over the weekend...usually I went to my bestie's house and we had a great time. Her DH calls me the other wife since I am (or was...we have both been very sick lately) there all the time.

I can't wait until we are both feeling better and we can hang out again. It has been a long while since we've seen each other and I miss her.

I am going to be staying at the Paris hotel along the strip. I am so excited!! This is the first time I am flying anywhere on my own! I won't be in LV on my own though, I will be going with a couple of friends. We're just all meeting there. :)

I feel kind of grown up traveling on my own. I don't ever think I will feel like I am a grown up.  There is part of me that I know is bouncing from one idea to the next, my dad says that I get that from him. The other part of me wants to settle down and stay in place.

I'm itching to be on my way and try something new again...

Maybe I need to do some stitching or pick up a new crochet project...my friend Andy did ask me to make him a blanket like the one I made myself. I have to find the right type of yarn...

More Musings to follow.

~M

I feel like a fraud

I went to Church on Sunday and something kept nagging at me. I love going to the Lutheran Church, a very good friend of mine told me about it and thought I would enjoy it because of the issues I have been having with the Catholic Church. I was raised Catholic and even though I liked going I never felt welcome there.

The first time I went to the Lutheran Church I felt welcomed right away. Everyone was happy and said good morning to me with a smile on their face. It didn't feel like they felt like they had to be there like in any Catholic Church I have been to. I met a wonderful lady and her husband and now we all sit together at Church.

The pastor even recognised that I was new the first time I was there and thanked me for coming. I get a smile from those around me every time I amt here.

I feel like a fraud because I am Catholic but I feel more connected to the Lutheran Church. There isn't any kneeling, there isn't communion every Sunday, some of the things that we say are different in mass but I am comfortable there. I feel at home.

I feel like part of me is betraying my Catholic Faith by going to the Lutheran Church. I feel at home there. Am I turning my back on my faith? I still believe in God, the Lutheran Church is the closest to the Catholic Church. I'm just happier believing and practicing my faith in a different way.

I am going to talk to my pastor about this. I feel very confused.

~M